150 days to go...

Today is May the 23rd and it's exactly 150 days from my big day..feelin excited?? yes!!!..worry?? Sure!!!..feelin weird, at one time i can feel sure about this whole thing and the next minute i feel the opposite.

But one thing for sure, we've been through A LOT for the past 4.5 years. He is the total opposite of me but yet i found comfort in him. We fight a lot..almost everyday, but when he's not around, something is missing in my life. I was by his side when he started his life from zero, when he was still immature and not ambitious. It was and is a tough one to change someone to become a better person.

I asked God soo many many times whether he's the one for me...coz we are just totally 2 different persons. You can name it...he doesnt like music, i love music...he is not ambitious, i am ambitious...he is very forgiving, i am totally not....he is very laidback and i am not....he eats anything, i dont....he likes sweet food, i like salty food...and the list goes on and on...and on...

The only thing that we have in common is art and of course...our faith!

But the fact that we still together ofter 4.5 years, it means something, something that is more than just love or hugs or kisses. Im not saying that 4.5 years is enough for people to get married, but knowing that we came from a completely different family background and up bringing...4.5 year is a long way..

These 4.5 years show me there is something more between us that can hold us together for the longer time. Love, hugs, kisses, gifts, flowers are not enough to hold 2 person for the rest of their lifes...then i realized..there is another thing that we have in common and is very important. It is COMMITTMENT.

No matter how sad i was with him, i decided to stay and make it work.

No matter how difficult it was to deal with his failures, i decided to be patient and stayed beside him.
No matter how dissapointed i was with him when he didn't get flowers or gift on my birthday, i still decided to stay.

No matter...no matter...no matter...i still decided to stay.....

And vice versa:

No matter how stubborn i was, he stayed with me...

No matter how selfish i was, he still chose me...

No matter how much i hurt him, he still there...

No matter...no matter...no matter....he is still there for me...

So now i pray to God and be thankfull for the committment that we have, we might not have the luxury life and huge deposit with high rates, we migh not have a big house, we might not have the expensive car to drive, we might not have plasma tv, but hey...those things won't matter one day. At the end of the day, the only thing matter is having someone besides you, holding your tiny and wrinkle hands and gently kisses your wrinkle cheek and stays still with you till end.

*You won't find the one unless you decide to make him one*