READY FOR CHANGES

So many things have been going on in my life for the past 2 weeks, me and Indra have gone through emotional roller coaster and we are grateful for it.

Through these things, God showed us that His plan is perfect and beyond our imagination. We have seen so many things happened miraculously in our life.
And we learnt that the more we surrender our life to God, He will do more awesome things in our life. And that's what happened in the past 2 weeks.

We as human being always have this fear inside us when our life doesnt go according to our plan. Not sure about you guys, but me and indra like to plan, a lot!
We plan everything down to the little things. When we fail to go according to our plan, we have this fear that other plans will get affected and everything will be messed up. Most of the times, this is our source of argument :P. We rely too much on our plan, more than we rely unto our God.

God showed us that He can do much more than what we expect or imagine, with His own time, His perfect time. He will not let His children in need, but give abundance blessings especially when you rely unto Him and accept His plan gratefully.

1st ANNIVERSARY

20th of October was our 1st wedding anniversary. I cant believe a year has passed, time does flies. I still remember when i started this blog, it was called 'Tying-D-Knot" and created purposely to record all the wedding preparations.

So many things have happened during this 1 year, all sad and happy moments, all the fights and hugs. We thought after living under one roof for 2 years before marriage will make it easier, but it's not. We had a lot of things to adjust and compromise, and i believe we still are right now and in future. But i guess that's what brought us even closer right? these things taught us how to react and respond with love to one another.

I cant say that it will be a smooth journey ahead, but we are getting stronger and better from when we said 'i do'. As long as we have each other's hand, i reckon we will do alright.

Here some photos from our short break to Yallingup:

SEARCHING FOR HOME

It's true, im currently questioning my 'home'.
A 'home' that supposed to be a shelter, a place where you can sit and relax, put down you burden and breathe without getting critized and judged.

A 'home' i called for 7 years. 'Home' where i serve and worship.
I never question my faith, but i question the essence of home.

A place where everyone should humble themselves, not a place for competition.
But how come all of my pain come from 'home'? It's wrong, totally wrong.
I didnt expect to have a perfect 'home', because it's full of unperfect people.
I've been trying to adjust, cut and trim myself here and there, hoping that my existence would give benefit to others. I feel that my flaws are not acceptable, i have to be perfect everytime, i cant be mad or angry, but ok being mad or angry at. My heart is extremely heavy everytime i'm heading there, there must be something wrong! I must have cut and trimmed myself too much.

Sometimes i wonder, why do people from outside are much better? they are full of understanding without being judgemental and theoritical. They dont based their kindness on a specific teaching. The world should go like this: if they are nice, we should be nicer, if they are wise, we should be wiser, but i could never prove that. What is wrong with my 'home'?

Is it possible to still have the faith without the 'home'?

GUARD YOUR HEART AND MIND

I am essentialy a quiet person, i dont talk much with new people. That's why when i got angry, usually i blow up.
I do have so much anger in my heart, im not a person that can forgive and forget. I can always build that relationship back, but that pain will stay in my heart.
I must admit, i am a person with so much revenge and hatred in my heart, i was raised this way.

But one thing i learn as i grow up, it may takes a while to change and fix your heart but you can always change your attitude and what comes out from your mouth.
When i was angry, i used to talk back to people and hurt them, i was very good at that. But then i realised, what's the point in that? showing them that you are stronger and better than them? No, that attitude looks shallow to me.

Especially when you are getting older, wiser and more mature, you have this urge to respond in a more intellectual way. Not with anger, shouts, harsh words. As im getting older, i tend to shut my mouth when my heart is boiling, the reason is i dont want to hurt people's feeling, i will let it calm first and talk. That way it will be a 'win-win' situation.

Im still 25 yrs old, i still have a lot to learn, but i can say im proud of myself in the way i handle my mouth and attitude :)

I've been fasting and praying for a week, i do have several problems and tribulations to overcome, and God has put some tests over the week and they were not easy. I am still waiting for what i've been praying for, but during that God showed me other things as well. After a full day of fasting, i always looking forward for the dinner, and i feel so grateful for the food, it becomes something so precious and valuable. It made me realise how God has blessed me so much, much more than a good food, i never lack of anything and yet still complaining.


PS: "Thank you Tas for knowing me better than others, luv ya"

MONDAY NIGHT

VOTE FOR AMELIA ONG

Amelia Ong is my sister and last week she took an audition in one of radio station. The winner gets to sing with Stevie Wonder at his upcoming concert.

There are 45 contestant, and we need more supporter to vote for her :)

Im not sure whether i have a lot of reader on my blog, but hey..no harm in trying.

If you managed to read my blog, please spend 30 seconds to vote here: http://www.mix.com.au/perth/music/win/jammin_stevie/audition_day_1st.html

Here is the link to the audition video:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1586371827/bclid1745181236/bctid1747848850

Your supports are greatly appreciated!!!

DUMANSION

Last nite i tried to shoot some photos for Indra's client.

Her product range from gift, note book, invitation, etc. The note book is handmade! Yes, handmade! Gorgeous aren't they?? Check out her website: www.dumansion.com

Indra said that she likes the photos that i took, so she decided to use our service to re-shoot all her product, how exciting!!!

Here some photos (raw image, no photoshop whatsoever):

SERVING

You may believe it or not, but when i took the spiritual gift test, i had several result and one of them is serving. I serve God and church for several years in several ways, like ushering, singing and currently as a treasurer. But somehow i dont get the fulfilment of serving, i thought 'what am i missing?', i suppose to feel happy and joy when i serve, since one of my gift is serving.

Then i realised my serving gift is not in term of serving church in anyway possible, but more specific. I'd love to do community service like opening a soup kitchen, distributing a free clothing to the needy, helping the elderly do their groceries, or delivering meals to their homes, you know..those kind of things.

Currently, our church doesnt have the capacity or the man power to do these things, I would love to see this happening in 5 years, for me being a blessing to other people is not merely giving them theory about Christianity, stuff them up with the word of God, they need something that is applicable for them, something that relevant to their needs. We have to be able to see what their needs, and i think in today's world, LOVE is the one they seek. Acceptance and understanding to their limitation, even just being there for them at the right time is something powerful.

People sometimes make it too complicated on how to reach others, they set a top strategy and provides various facilities to attract them, until they lost the core and basic value of human's need, which is LOVE. It's not hard to provide LOVE for others, they dont need our facilities and strategies, all they need is for us to be there for them and LOVE them.

It's time to put Christianity value into action not theory only.

Well, that's just my little thought, hope there are some people out there that have the same thought and passion as me. I've been blessed abundantly and it's time to pass my blessing to others :)

GOOD BOOKS

I wish we have more books like these in Australia :)

GOOD FRIEND IN NEED

Gosh, i just had a good laugh.
The highlight of the day.

I was such in a bad mood from last nite because one thing and another.
All i wanted just to go home and relax, no spirit and energy left for work.

But then, me and a good friend of mine whom i talked to everyday chatted in a pretty serious matter which ended up in a FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY imagination. I know we should take this matter seriously but OMG i dont how we ended up there hahahha.
I laughed so hard and the phone suddenly rang and i picked up the phone with my last giggle, the caller fortunately from Indonesia, and he giggled as well hahaha...thank God it wasn't my boss :P

O well, at least i have something to laugh at...and yes im still laughing whenever i remember it.

HAHAHAHA...

BEING 25

I had my 25th bday on Friday, it was great!! i took leave on friday and met Lisyen and Agus in City and we had dinner with friends at Thai Garden.
Special gifts from special people:

1. BOSTON LEGAL Season 3 from friends (u guys know me by heart!! :P)

2. Sewing Book from my sister (a really good book, im so excited!!!)
You can see my picture riding Becak in Pwt with t-shirt belel and short sitting like a preman :P.

3. Surprise bday cake (from Tasia D)
This cake is yummy, if anyone want to order cake, you can msg her here:http://tasiaduchesne.blogspot.com


Thanks all for the bday wishes and gifts, so blessed to have you guys :)(Thanks to Tasia, Lisa, Chris, Wayne, San2, Ka Ira, Emon, Ferry, Ein, LIsyen, Agus, Adel )
Special thanks to my husband for everything you've done for me...muach!

THE RIGHT FOCUS

On Sunday, my husbad was leading at the church when he shared his short testimony of our lives. As i was listening, i realized that we have been focusing to the wrong thing.

As you know, my husband is starting a business, so that he can quit from the current job. We prayed ernestly to God about this business, and we put everything unto God's hands.

My husband started to spent most of his time in front of computer and looking for clients. We didn't have quality time anymore, i was frustrated and tired. He would come home from his work around 5 and go to his work room straight away, and finished around 1 or 2am. We hardly have time to sit down and talk.
Eventhough i was tired, i thought it's fine as long as he does something to make the business works.

But eventhough he tried so hard, finding a client was really hard. Somehow his effort producing nothing. We grew even more frustrated, and we got to the point where we blame GOD for everything.

Not long after that, my husband suddenly realised that we've been doing the wrong thing. Yes, we focused more on how can this business work, how to find clients, money, etc. We didnt even have time to pray together anymore. From then on, we made a list of what we want to achieve this year, and we pray together every night. Not only we pray, but we also tried to change our attitude. Instead of worrying and focusing on the business, we do what we should do, pray and be grateful for everything He has done, and leave the rest to God.

Things started to change, our lives getting better, we always reserve a quality time, he is not to stressed about work, etc. And eventually, jobs and clients came to our way, jobs and clients that we never expected before, bigger and better!

So, we thank U God for teaching us a lesson, for Your constant care and love for us. Despite of our sins and weakness, You still there watching and holding us.

SPOTLIGHT

Yeayyy....today is Friday!!!

I LOVE weekend *who doesn't?*!!
Last nite was late nite shopping where all shops open until 9pm. Since my husband bought me the sewing machine, i've been spending my free time either in front of the sewing machine or at Spotlight. So i went to Spotlight last nite, and spend 1.5 hours there, browsing through fabrics and accesories, gathering all ideas and plans.

I found this fabric with cream/beige background and red floral pattern. I was thinking of making 2 extra cushions for my living room couch. Let see what happen with this plan hahahah..:P

Why red?? See, my house was dominated by brown timber colour furniture and i love it, except for a round couch that we bought at Freedom couple of years ago. It's in the centre of our living room and it's red!
It looks unbalance for so long but i didnt have the gut to try something, but then i decided to put another red here and there to make it balance and to my surprise, they look good together (see my previous post 'Red Loves Brown'). Since then, i've been looking for red accessories and decorative for my house.

Im so excited, at least i have one more project for this weekend and i cant wait to go home and sit in front of my sewing machine :D

EARLY BDAY PRESENT

My birthday still a month away, but i already got my present now :)
Few weeks ago, being "orang yg selalu pengen tau", i forced Indra to talk what he's planning to get for my bday. After interviews, investigations and torture, finally he talked :P.
He said he is going to buy me a purse. A nice and branded one.

I wasn't surprised or excited, because my purse is still in a good condition and i dont really need that now. So i asked him to get me sewing machine instead of the branded purse.

Since we lived together, i found myself letting out my creativity more than i used to do. Maybe because Indra often asked about design opinion from me and me helping his photography business, browsing other photographer, compare and critics. Somehow those creativity grows inside of me.

I know i always been a crafty girl, i like creating something, even when i can get it from shop, i'd still trying to make my own. My mom noticed what i have, but my dad chose to ignore it and telling me i can't do it. So after that i gave up my creativity, told myself that i dont have 'it'. But Indra noticed that when we first work together during the Christmas Drama, he knew that i have the creativity but too afraid to express them, along the way he always supported me to do things that i like and to express them.

It started with beads. I learned how to make jewellery from beads and he supported me. He would go with me to sunday market just for beads hunting, spend the day in Spotlight buying the beads, pay for the beads (of course!) :P. I sold some of my jewellery in Ebay. But eventhough i like making jewellery, im still searching and learning other things like interior design and sewing. That's why i asked for sewing machine instead of branded purse :P

Well, let's see what can i create from this machine :P
Thanks Ndra!

A WOMAN'S HEART

Why do men occasionaly confused of how to make their women happy?

We as women, dont need extravagant gift or present to be happy
We as women, dont need lavish attention to be happy
We as women, dont need perfect surprises to be happy
We as women, dont need a big *Bling2* to be happy (i dont mind though :P)

Just a simple love gesture would means a world to her.

My partner always thought that he needs to give a perfect gift, perfect surprises, perfect attention and he would wait for the perfect moment. But in the end, the perfect moment never come in this imperfect world.

Ndra, it doesnt need that much effort to make me smile, does it? thanks for the e-flower (Thank GOD i dont need to water it :P)


" Hi Honey,
When I decided to marry you, what i have in mind is to make you happy every single day.
I love you very much, and i won't stop to try to make you smile."

So In Love

Has anyone of you seen 'De-Lovely' movie? played by Ashley Judd?
It's a story about Cole & Linda Porter. Cole Porter was a famous jazz composer & songwriter, he wrote songs such as: "Night and Day", "I got a Kick out of you", 'You've got me under my skin", etc...

The movie is about his carreer and marriage to Linda, a loyal and devoted wife even when she found out that Cole was gay. She stood up besides him and loved him with all her heart. She stayed with him until she died.
On the movie, when she was sick and dying, Cole wrote a song for her. My heart moves everytime i hear this song, even when i just read the lyrics. Sometimes i got tears in my eyes... :P.

Here is the song:

So In Love

Strange dear, but true dear
When I'm close to you, dear
The stars fill the sky
So in love with you am I
Even without you
My arms fold about you
You know darling why
So in love with you am I

In love with the night mysterious
The night when you first were there
In love with my joy delirious,
When I knew that you could care

So taunt me, and hurt me
Deceive me, desert meI'm yours, till I die
So in love, so in love
So in love with you, my love, am I

Low Point

I feel that im in the low point right now.
Not knowing what to do. Don't really like my job now, but this the only thing i can do.
The work environment is great, nice boss and colleagues, generous pay, but i still dont enjoy it.
Having to sit all day in front of computer, dealing with numbers all the time *sigh*!

I feel that my marriage is plain and empty, he does his own things everyday till late.
See him in the morning, before i got to work, sometimes he's still sleeping and when i got home, he's already in his office doing other work until around 1am sometimes 2am. I really dont mind if his business produces something, but so far it's like beating thin air.

I got very lonely sometimes, and i was hoping that i could turn to my parents for consolation. But everytime i call them , either they're busy or just not at home. I really hope that they're the one who call me, they never ever call me here, except for emergency! I know it's more expensive to make a call from Indo, but hey, they earn a LOT more in a day, 5 minutes call won't hurt!

That's my life, not to mention the condition at home which is not very 'pleasant'. Some of you know what im talking about. I feel stress at work but reluctant to go home.

So what i do in my spare time? trying to get my mind out of it, i took a short course on interior design, it's only 5 weeks course, but at least i got something to do which in line with my hobby.
On Monday, reach home about 5, then the class starts at 6, finishes at 9.
Thinking of taking a part time job on saturday and sunday, it's not about the money, but more to shifting my mind from those problems.

Oh goshh...i feel so lonely, sad, dissapointed, tired, exhausted, etc.
Some friends are going back for good this year, maybe i should too..

5th October 07

Friday, 5th October 07.

Today is Indra and Meli's birthdays. This is Meli's sweet 17th birthday and Indra's 31st.

"Happy Birthday!!! I pray that God bless you both abundantly, bless you in your study, work, ministry, business, everything... I pray that Meli will be a famous musician one day, and use her skill and talent to bless others. I pray that Indra will be a good husband for me :P. Pray that Indra will be a famous fotographer one day, and we will have our own photography business ^_^, I love you both!!!".

I hope that Meli will be able to get PR here, so she can audition for Aussie Idol :P. I dont know how we gonna do it, but if this is God's plan, He will make a way.

Im so proud of Indra lately, he bought a new camera few weeks ago with big lens and all (cost more than my ring!!), but i fully supported him because i know that he has a big talent on that.

He learned to use the camera for couple of days before shooting at Ariel's wedding. And wow, i love the photos, look really good. I hope that you can be a real good photographer one day :) http://captivatedmoments.blogspot.com

This is also Indra's last birthday before the wedding, next year everything will be different. He is going to have a wife to celebrate the birthday with. It's exciting!!!.

Now, there is only 15 days left to the wedding (2 weeks!!!) and im getting really2 nervous!!!

Hope everything will go smoothly on the day.

To all of my friends, please pray for us so that we will go through the DAY with joy and happiness :)

TGIF!!!.....and long weekend!!!!

Yeayyyy!!!! It's Friday!!! and long weekend!!! can't be happier :P.
I dont have the mood for work now, all i can think of is the long weekend. Well i won't go anywehere this weekend, but Kikis and Lia are coming and im so excited!! Yes i know i have to clean the house first, prepare the bed and foods, but that's ok..they are my troops for the wedding preparation hehehe :P. *Dont worry Kis, i will have a lot of food at home*.

This morning, my mobile rang and it was Ka Ira, she called me just to say that she is impressed with my blog, apparently our men are the same hahaha :P. It's good to know that my blog make others laugh. *Ka, you should create one, ur hubby would be impressed*.

Update on the candle holders?? finally Spotlight called yesterday and they have the candle holders at their Jondaloop store and they will deliver them to my house free of charge!!! Yeay!!
I always like Spotlight, they have various household things with good price. I can stay there for hours without buying anything hahaha...But to be honest, they are not good with orders. I remember 2 years ago when we bought the current house, we decided to put on the blinds ourselves. We ordered venetian blinds from them and it took them ages and agesss, we lived in an aquarium for i dont know how many weeks. We decided to cancel the order.
So, if any of you wants to order something from Spotlight, just be careful.

Ooohh...we totally forgot about the NOIM (Notice of Intention of Marriage) that we have to lodge. It has to be lodged a month before the wedding day. And it was Pastor D who asked me 2 days ago about the NOIM (and it was already less than a month), and i was shocked!!!. Luckily Pator Iwan agreed to backdate the document to a month before hehehe :P *Phewww*

Long weekend.....im cominggg!!!!!

26th Sept 07

Woohoo....i feel fresh today!! why?? becauce i slept for 12 hours last nite, it's true (what a pig). Yesterday i wasn't feeling well at work, i felt stressed and tired. I slept right away after dinner. We haven't finalised everything. There are so many thing to do:

- Finalise the timeline
- Food tasting
- Need to check the church again
- Finalise this and that..
- Need to write a vow
- Need to at least once, practice the wedding waltz.
- Etc

And on top of that, Spotlight lost my order on the candle holders :(.
I ordered in August and i went there again early Sept to check, they were not ready, but i saw my order.
Few days ago, i called Spotlight and they said they lost the order...*sigh*
I told them that i need the candle holders for my wedding next month, and i dont care how you get that, i just want them to be ready before my wedding.

Next monday, Indra's brother and his girlfriend are coming here :).
They will stay at our house, i dont where they gonna sleep hahaha...but i think it's good to have more people around especially in time like this where you need emotional support and help.

And ohh...i had dinner at new Indo restaurant in Northbridge, called "Tasik". Oh mannn...it was greattt!!! It is a little bit more expensive compare to Bintang or Manise or Sedap, but i guess it's normal since the location is in Northbridge. And the food, oohh...i thought the food would be like Sundanesse food with lalapan and sambel, but it actually similar like other Indo Restaurant (I guess Kemangi is hard to find here). I had "Oseng udang with paprica" and "Sambel goreng ikan teri". We couldn't finish the food, i think 2 dishes are enough for 3 people, so it's a very descent size for the that price.

On the way back, i was thinking how blessed we are. I didnt think that i would be in this position 5 years ago, to be able to eat whatever i want, to be able to give and bless others, just to live and have more than we asked for. God, thank you so much for the blessing, i wouldnt make it this far without Your help and grace. I know im nothing without You.

Got to go back to work... :)